Christmas is such a wonderful time of the year…our sweet baby Jesus was born, the jolly sentimental songs, The Christmas Story on T.V. (you’ll shoot your eye out!) and Charlie Brown, snowy clydesdale commercials, cheery houses adorned with lights, nostalgic wrapping paper, friends & family get togethers, Santa Claus and ‘ol Rudolph, and as much fudge as your little heart desires! Really, it doesn’t get much better than Christmas!
Well, as much as I do love Christmas, there are a few things about Christmas I can’t quite figure out….maybe someone out there has the answers?
1. This whole Christmas tree lighting thing…..I mean really, how is it that we can put a man on the moon but we can’t make tree lights that blink the same way two days in a row? Yesterday the top half of my tree was blinking up a storm and today only one string near the bottom is flashing! This may not matter to those of you who don’t have blinking lights, but to those of us that pull out our lights and plug them in to ‘test’ them before we put them on the tree just to be sure they are working, it is more than maddening when our ‘non’blinking lights miraculously start to flash just moments after we get the entire tree adorned! WTF???????
Get your head out of the gutter…I said What The Fudge!!!!!!
2. Since we’re talking about fudge..Anyone ever left out part of the sugar while cooking this decadent treat? NO? Well, if ever you find yourself in this situation try to refrain from adding it at the end of the process! My thought process was “how much difference could it really make if I add it now?”….Can you say “Sandy Fudge”? In my opinion, Fudge should NEVER crunch when you eat it….but that’s just me!
3. Ever start wrapping a gift and while you’re sitting on the floor trying to hold the darned paper together over your gift as you reach for the tape only to find that the tape that was just there a second ago has now vanished into thin air? That old Twister game’s got nothin on a middle aged woman crouched on the floor amid ribbons and bows with her right hand securely poised on the box to be wrapped, so as not to have the paper unravel, while she sorts through the jumbled shimmering mess for the priceless tape with her left! Santa must send elves to ‘help’ with gift wrapping! I can just imagine all the elves and Santa sitting around with cookies and cocoa in the days after Christmas watching their version of The North Pole’s Funniest videos!
4. Ever wonder if the stores are having you followed? ‘She has now purchased that giant lego set that will set her back for at least 6 months…proceed to put the lego set on sale for half price’!
5. What’s the deal with fruitcake? I’ve always heard about fruitcake at Christmas and seen/heard the many funny jokes about it…so I decided I just HAD to try one. Chicken and the boys figured I needed to try one from a local bakery…for a $20 fruitcake MUST be good right? I can honestly say that is the ONLY cake I have ever had that made my stomach turn! I tried it three different times…just to give it a fair chance..after all, it IS a cake! Bluuuaaack! So my question is….What’s the deal with fruitcake?
6. Ever buy Christmas gifts earlier in the year, then hide them so well you don’t find them until July? I’m applying for a job with the Easter bunny…my hiding skills are amazing!
7. Does it mean you’re trailer trash if you decide to decorate your kids ugly playslide out front verses just putting it away for the winter?
8. Why does the post office not have a drive thru? Again with the funny videos as I try to balance a giant box on one hip as I hold a 2 year old in the other as I make my way across a busy parking lot…for once I am thanking The Good Lord for these big hips!
Seriously, I love the Holidays and look forward to them every year! It’s just a bonus that come January and the Holiday decorations are put away, that my house grows bigger in size! Ya’ll know what I’m talking about? Hallelujah!