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So I started work on that mini flower garden that hopes to grow into a mini flower farm one day and now I’m hot, dirty, sweaty, bleeding, cursing, and just a fleck of a straw away from all out bawling….
Putting in a new garden will put a smile on your face they said, give you a sense of accomplishment they said, it’ll be so easy they said…
They better RUN, I said!
Do you know what the digging up earth, pulling out thorns (from my skin, ya’ll), breaking your new shovel, fighting with the moles, having a mini heart-attack when you grab a baby lizard you never even saw in the first place, fighting off blasted Maryland ticks from Hell, realizing AGAIN that you and heat and humidity have never been friends and will never be, and turning over your year old mulch to find a happy little family of termites waving back at you, will do to a person?
Seriously, that sh…poop is maddening, not to mention just plain wrong!
And I am done.
I think I need a hug…
I’m moving back to the desert.
Ya’ll, I want a flower farm.
I’m going to have a flower farm.
Big or small, successful or not, I will have a flower farm.
Do I know anything about growing flowers?
Dirt. Water. Sun. Seed….. What else could I possibly need?
You’re rolling your eyes and chuckling at my lack of knowledge aren’t you?
Well….Poop! I’m going to need lots and lots of poop!
See? I know a little something about growing from the ground up!
Now, just where does one go to get a load of poop?
You’re right, this should get interesting!
For now, I’ll be planting on my small plot of land here in blissful suburbia….and then, who knows what I’ve got up my sleeve!
You want to know what I’ve got up my sleeve don’t ya?
Perhaps you should follow along and see how it goes..or doesn’t go. It’s going to go. At least I think it’s going to go. I hope it’s going to go. It’s going to go, right?
I’ll be posting here, hopefully weekly, to track my progress, and to take any advice or suggestions along the way. Until then, I’m getting inspired by books such as Kevin Henkes’ Children’s Picture Book, MY GARDEN!
It’s wonderful. It’s amazing. It’ll grow and grow on ya…and you don’t even need any poop!
Don’t forget to checkout my Pinterest Board here Pinterest with even more poop-less goodies!
What would you do if you lost your favorite sweater?
Would you climb a tree to look for it? How about search an icy berg, or check the den of a Kingly Lion?
Me? Oh, that’s easy….I’d bake a cake, duh!
Perhaps the yummy smell would lure it back home!
What’s all this talk about sweaters?
I’m glad you asked…
The very lovely Vivian Kirkfield of Picture Books Help Kids Soar is hosting a 50 first words writing contest and I’m entering!
Write a children’s story using only 5o words.
I need cake.
This was one tough story to write. Have you ever tried to write an entire story with only 50 words? It ain’t easy my friend.
But I did it nonetheless. Yeah ME!
The entire story is written below, elevator pitch first!
Don’t blink, you might miss it!
*Giraffe has lost his favorite blue sweater, at least that’s what he thinks until he realizes it has only become snagged and unraveled, wrapping the entire zoo in a cozy hue of blue*
GIRAFFE’S BLUE SWEATER
BY: Angela Hawkins
Giraffe has lost his blue sweater. Monkey hasn’t seen it, Lion doesn’t know, Hippo isn’t sure, just where could a sweater go? He’s wandered all around the park, gone here and there times two, now back at home he’s surprised to find, a wild and wooly blue… sweater-wearing zoo!
Bada-bang, Bada-bing! What’d ya think?
Should I be feeling blue?
Should I bake a cake?
I should bake a cake.
Woo-Hoo! It’s time for another of Susanna Leonard Hill’s Annual Writing Contests! This time it’s a Valentine’s Day theme, appropriate for children 12 and under, 214 words or less, and…..wait for it….
What the What?
I know, me too!
Here. Goes. Nothin.
THE VALENTINE’S DAY STORY
BY: Angela Hawkins
My teacher said to write a Valentine’s Day story. Easy for her to say. If she had Alligator sitting next to her always asking for biscuits and jam she’d have trouble writing a story too. Only it’s not just Alligator. Chicken and Owl have been arguing all morning about what’s on the other side of the road, and Bear won’t stop dancing around my tube of glue. “I must get that part in the ballet!” she reminds me. Donkey thinks he’s a dragon and must fight the fiery eraser flames, and Octavia the Penguin is rearranging my color box, darkest to lightest. But it’s not until Flamingo sends Pig flying across the room on a ball of rolled up tissue that I start to think I might not ever get that Valentine’s Day story written! Pig slams into the blackboard causing dust bunnies to scatter about and my teacher lets out a scream in fear of a cosmic alien invasion. Always up for adventure, Lion throws on his cowboy hat and spurs and corrals the wild bunnies back to the ranch hollering “Yee-Haw!” as he rides. Thoroughly confused, my teacher cancels the Valentine’s Day story assignment and gives us extra recess instead. Perhaps next Valentine’s Day she’ll just ask for chocolates instead of stories!
Great! Me too.
Let’s go eat some chocolate….
My teenager just got his driver’s permit.
Want to know what that looks like?
Picture this…an old beat up mini-van complete with smashed in side (thank you drive through car wash), what looks like straight from the hood bullet holes (thank you Maryland road work improvement team), cracked windshield, front license plate dangling from one lone peg, four I-could-do-this-better-than-you backseat drivers, and me clinging to the dashboard fearing for all our lives…
And that was just as he put it in reverse in the empty parking lot!
Yep! This is the kinda stuff they never tell you about when you think about having kids.
The Fear Factor Stuff! Things like…
*105 degree fever in the middle of the night
*Ingesting a box of fireworks TNT
*Popping open a glowstick…in their mouth
*Slamming fingers in car doors
*Spraying Lysol into their mouth just to see what it tastes like
*The dialing of 911 while you’re in the shower
*Smacking their head on the bricks and going blind for a bit
*Holding their breath when their mad until they pass out
*Stitch worthy head wounds from light saber wars
*The hiding out in the dark upstairs until you go to bed so they can jump up and say funny things like”Boo!” (This one makes you say funny things too!)
*Bringing back bed bugs from a school Science trip
*LEARNING HOW TO DRIVE. AT NIGHT. OVER BRIDGES. ON SOME OF THE BUSIEST INTERSTATES IN THE COUNTRY…..
Seriously, where’s the AP Class for All That?
And this my friends, brings us to a lovable Porcine Wonder.
Mercy. Mercy Watson.
She’s pink. She’s inspiring. She loves hot buttered toast. And she really wants a shot at that whole driving thing!
I don’t know how it happened but a while back, Fall I think it was, I was in the laundry room digging around for all the dirty soccer gear and I’m pretty sure I was attacked by a mound of nappy socks, the kind of nappy socks that you take one whiff of and the next few months just flash before your eyes and then Bam! there you are, different shirt, different sweatpants, because let’s face it, it is always about the sweatpants, digging once again for that wretched dirty soccer gear wondering where in the hollyhocks has the time gone and why are there always 5, 362 soccer shirts, soccer shorts, soccer under armor, soccer pennies, soccer short sleeve jersey’s, soccer long sleeve jersey’s, soccer no sleeve jersey’s on your laundry room floor!
Time warping nappy socks….I oughta get a patent!
What does this have to do with Friday Frenzy?
But, let me just say, I love this book. LOVE IT!
Granny, child, dog, cat (this cat looks nice so I can deal, but cats in general are not my cup of tea. I had a cat once, she had retractable horns, which she did not retract…Ever! I have the scars to prove it. And yes, they are on my back, thanks for asking!), four poster bed, rainy night, sunny morning, cottage style house, flowers galore, tree swing, rainbows, pom pom slippers, I mean come on…what’s not to love?
Go ahead, grab this nap-tacular book, and get your read on!
Want to see more? Hop on over to Polyvore (below) and Pinterest to find items and ideas inspired by The Napping House by Audrey Wood, curated by yours truly…. and do me the favor of answering just one question will ya?
Cats or Dogs?